The water bottle for startups

Drink water.
Buy ad space.

Minimalist is a 500ml glass bottle with two side panels that we lease to startups. We deliver them to their developers, conferences, and offices. Your brand, in their hand.

Side A · The Right Panel

Your logo.
Our bottle.

Pick an ink color below and type your brand name. The bottle reprints live. For your real run, we print your wordmark on the panel you sponsor.

Currently showing · YOUR LOGO

Back · The Boring Stuff

Zero of
everything you
don't need.

FDA-compliant nutrition panel. Zero calories, zero sodium, zero sugar. Recyclable.

Side B · The Left Panel

Two panels.
Twice the impressions.

Both panels go to one sponsor, so your brand ownsthe bottle. It sits on a desk for hours, rides into Zoom calls, ends up in the gym bag. You're not buying a 2-second scroll. You're buying weeks of attention.

Scroll to rotate
Preview your label

See your brand
on the bottle.

Pick an ink color, type your name. The bottle reprints in real time, printed directly on the glass.

Drag to pick. The label background adapts for contrast.

0/12

Preview only. Your real run uses the artwork you send us.

The economics

Cheaper than every
billboard you've looked at
on the way to work.

The first four rows are public rate cards for the channels you're already buying. The last row is ours, a pre-launch projection of how the bottle should price out.

Times Square billboard
CPM$28.40
AudienceEveryone walking past 7th Ave
TargetingNone
Half-life8 seconds
X / Twitter promoted
CPM$2.40
AudienceAlgorithmic feed
TargetingInterest-based, soft
Half-life1.4 seconds
LinkedIn sponsored
CPM$36.50
AudienceB2B grab bag
TargetingTitle, seniority
Half-life1.8 seconds
YC founders newsletter
CPM$112.00
Audience~16k founders
TargetingVertical (founders only)
Half-life~1 inbox session
Minimalist · single SKUProjected
CPM$3 – $5*
AudienceSenior ICs · YC · enterprise eng
Targeting1:1 hand-curated list
Half-life~12 weeks (modeled)
Use cases

Six ways founders
are spending the bottle.

01 / Conferences

Re:Invent · KubeCon · SaaStr

Cold-fill at the venue the morning of keynote. Branded label, your booth number on the cap. The bottle walks the show floor in someone else's hand.

Conference partnership
02 / Hackathons & meetups

AGI House · YC · SF Tech Week

Cold bottles hit the table at every major SF AI dinner and YC side event. Your brand sits next to a founder's MacBook for four hours straight.

Event partnership
03 / Tech hubs

Coworking & campus drops

Stocked weekly across SF coworking spaces and CS lounges. Founders grab one, take it to standup, leave it on a Zoom-visible desk. Compounding ad real estate.

Hub partnership
04 / Launch day

Series A reveal & product launches

Your announcement gets ~38 hours of attention. The bottle gets 12 weeks. Hand-deliver the launch run to the design partners, advisors, and customers you most want top-of-mind after the news cycle ends.

Launch partnership
05 / Press drops

Bottle on the reporter's desk

Curated press list, embargo-coordinated. The bottle lands the morning your story breaks, so your pitch arrives in two formats, one of which sits there all week.

Press partnership
06 / Creator seeding

Devtok, YouTube, podcast hosts

A curated list of dev creators on YouTube and X. Bottle on their desk means bottle in every video they shoot that month.

Creators partnership
What's inside

Just
water.

Pure water. FDA-approved. Bottled in 4-mm mouth-blown soda-lime glass. No flavor, no story, no adaptogen. The brand on the bottle is the only personality you're paying for.

FDA panel · passBPA-freeRecyclable glassCap: stainless · powder coat
Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 500mL
Amount per serving
Calories
0
% Daily Value*
Calories
0
0%
Total Fat
0g
0%
Sodium
0mg
0%
Total Carbohydrate
0g
0%
Sugars
0g
0%
Protein
0g
0%
Caffeine
0mg
0%
Sweetener
0
0%
Adaptogens
0
0%
Electrolytes
0
0%
Founder backstory
0 paragraphs
0%
Influencer collab
0
0%
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. There's nothing else in here. The label is the product.
Ingredients: Purified Water.
8 32542 01102 0